More Armyisms

Local market store near Camp Phoenix.

While at the Post office, several of my teammates were trying to turn in some serviceable communication equipment.  It wasn’t long before they got to experience “Armyisms.”  The first office they went to (Office A) had them sign a piece of paper detailing the equipment’s specific information.  This form was taken to Office B which is like a job control.  Office B puts the information in their computer and it spits out a different form.  This form is then returned to Office A giving them permission to look at the item.  Office B inspects the item and now it’s ready to be turned into Supply.  At Supply they generate another form which is then walked back over to the Property Book Office to have it removed off the accountability list.  In comparison to the Air Force, we have a central issue and turn-in point where all of these functions are processed and everything processed leaves an audit trail in the computer system.

Muddy roads after the rain.

Meanwhile our ETT leader was trying to get some old uniforms off his property book account.  These uniforms were previously issued to former interpreters.  Our ETT leader is an Air Force Major and has signed for over $15 million dollars worth of items.  But when he tried to get these items removed from the account, he had to find a Lieutenant Colonel who could sign off on the letter stating $100 worth of items were destroyed.  Also, we couldn’t turn in the serviceable uniforms at Camp Phoenix; these have to be turned in to Bagram Air Field (BAF).  Had they been unserviceable, they would have gladly taken them off our hands.  In case you are wondering, if we used our knives and cut holes in them to make them unserviceable, they would have taken them.  But then this would be destruction of government property.  So we will have to travel 3 hours on the road with an armed convoy to turn these items in.  I don’t want to think about the paperwork that the BAFfites might require for processing these uniforms. The last time it took us 4 separate trips to get uniforms.  On the third trip we were turned away because we lacked letterhead on our paperwork and wasn’t aware of the new policy requiring letterhead stationery (more about that here).  In addition, the BAFfites are up in arms about losing their Pizza Hut, Popeyes, and Burger King stands as a result of General McChrystal’s new policy.  Sadly they have been voicing their objection in the local Stars and Stripes newspaper to no avail.  But they do get to keep their GreenBean Coffee shop, which serves up lattes, espressos, and mochas.  Hmmm … oops the uniforms suddenly got a tear in them … lol.

Afghan boys selling popcorn.

The mechanical wizards at Camp Phoenix were able to repair the broken driveshaft on the HMMVW and we lined up our convoy for the trip home.  The roads were still muddy, but the rain had stopped.  We drove past two local Afghan boys selling popcorn along the side of the road.  Not sure if OSHA would approve of their set up with the battery and the propane tank positioning.  But they seemed to be having fun and waved as we drove past.


2 Responses

  1. 🙂

  2. I had to laugh over your “armyisms”. My husband and I run a law office. We often have to file/record documents with the county clerks in the different jurisdictions in New York. The clerks that we deal with generally don’t have much education, much less a legal background/point of view. Quite often documents are bounced by these idiots, I mean clerks, and the reason given is that improper language was used. At first, we were stunned by this. My husband is considered an “expert” in his area of practice and is often used as a hired gun at trials. But we’ve give up the fight to a great extent and now just generally acquiesce because there is no reasoning with these, er, folks. We call them clerks with a check list.

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